Satan or Santa? :: social issues

Satan or Santa?To Whom It May Concern I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be capable to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming certain population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain argonas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the recent and better contract I also get longer breaks for draw and cookies so keep that in mind. However, Im certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His font of the family is from the South Pole. He sh bes my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls however, there are a few differences between us. Differences Such As There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun scoot on his sled and a bumper sticker that reads These toys insured by smith and Wesson . Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds or a mope pie on the fireplace. And Bubba doesnt smoke a pipe. He dips a little blubber though, so please have an empty spit can handy. Bubba Claus sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of lending him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzens head now overlooks Bubbas fireplace. You wont study On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen... when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, youll hear, On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty. Ho, ho, ho has been replaced by Yee Haw And you also are likely to hear Bubbas elves respond, I herd dat As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam condom triangle on the prat with the words Back off. The blend in I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that quicken through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going loving on the Tooth Fairy. The usual Christmas movie classics such as Miracle on thirty-fourth Street and Its a Wonderful Life will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area.